At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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