I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
