i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
