Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
