wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
