I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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