hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
