Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
