Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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