I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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