Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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