he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize