He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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