Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
