I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
