she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I will pee on everything he values.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Randomize
