all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
