dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
