my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
