You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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