have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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