i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
