I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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