Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
