Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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