I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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