Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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