call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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