I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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