i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
