this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
