mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
