if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
