i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Randomize
