It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Damn victory sex feels great
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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