A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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