Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
