question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
