I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize