Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
