I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
