Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
