Four minutes until I can fart!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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