let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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