just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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