i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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