so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
