My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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