You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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