Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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