All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize