you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
