I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
