I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
