So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
