Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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