the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
