Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
