i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The beer is more important than you right now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
