tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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