So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
