Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
