Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
