im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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