How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
